All around the world, people will observe a very special day on this Friday, November 20th. It is the eleventh annual observance of the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

The list of gifted and talented men and women who have surrendered their lives in a struggle to find their own God-given gender identity – even though outward appearances may have deceived them for years – continues to grow. To try to understand the magnitude of loss we have suffered, please visit the GLAAD Blog or Google the Transgender Day of Remembrance 2009.

But there is one such woman who will NOT be added to that list of sorrow and tragedy. During the annual Gospel Drag show held at St. John’s MCC as a part of our NC Pride Festival Celebration on Sunday, September 27, we crowned Jasmine Adams as our reigning Miss St. John’s.

I wanted to get to know Jasmine better, so she agreed to talk with our Senior Pastor and me a few weeks ago. Jasmine’s beautiful spirit continued to radiate from within her, just as it did at Gospel Drag.

Jasmine loves entertaining people and has done so for many years in many places around the nation, including Legends in Raleigh. From more than 10 years ago, she was known as the Gospel Queen. She knew how to work a crowd and help them enjoy themselves.

Jasmine left that behind when she decided that her recovery from addiction was more important than any of that. “Coming to the conclusion that I can’t entertain at clubs anymore was heartbreaking for me,” she said.

“I’ve struggled with it,” she continued. “I’d get clean for a while and then I’d go back….” “It came to a time that I decided, ‘This is MY life! It’s the only one that I have! I have to whatever is necessary to preserve it.’”

The last time Jasmine used alcohol and other substances, she stumbled into St. John’s. She says that she has “always struggled with the religion piece.” She came from a religious background, but she always thought, “God may love me, but I’m going to hell because of who I am.”

That kind of guilt and shame is enough to make any person want to feel better – even if the way he or she does it becomes abusive and is only temporary.

“I finally surrendered: This is WHO I AM!” she said. “I can’t shake it. … Maybe I can’t shake it because He made me like this!” “But, God,” she continued, “if you really DO love and accept me like this, then help me to do what I have to do.”

That was the turning point.

From the time she was an infant, Jasmine had been moved from one foster home to another. “I always thought that if I talked right and did everything right, this would make people love me.”

Finally, a religious woman who abused her at home but acted like the perfect Christian in front of everyone else adopted her. Even though she had male characteristics, her breasts and hips began developing when she was eleven. That’s when Jasmine began to think, “Something is wrong with me. … I was told that I was cursed.”

Eventually, “I sought help,” she continued. “I’ve seen gender specialists, and it’s taken me a long time working on all this past programming in my head, but I’m beginning to like me.”

Jasmine has a healthy fear of relapse – knowing that she must use every available resource to avoid what could happen. But she also expresses a hope that God will use her in some special way.

At Gospel Drag, God used Jasmine in a mighty way and will continue to empower her in her recovery and her witness of God’s love to everyone. You can watch her performance of Yolanda Adams’ wonderful song of recovery, “In the Midst of It All,” at this link on our website. You may also click here to view ALL the performances during Gospel Drag.

I asked Jasmine to tell us how it feels to know that St. John’s has affirmed her and recognized her as Miss St. John’s for 2009.

She remembered the time she came into the Sanctuary doors while intoxicated – finding people who were willing to help her through her struggle – and realized that she had come through those same doors in a very different, powerful way on Sunday, September 27th – the day she became Miss St. John’s MCC 2009.

Finally, she answered with a smile and a tear, “Anointed.” After a pause, she added in her unique, adorable way, “It felt divine.”