It all began on November 28, 1998 with the murder of Rita Hester, a murder which remains unsolved to this day. Her untimely and tragic death, not only saddened and shocked the transgender community, but likewise sparked a movement called the “Remembering Our Dead” project in 1998. The International Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) is commemorated on November 20^th of each year to focus attention on the many lives taken through acts of violence due to transphobia, as well as the ongoing violence that many in the transgender community still face today. So, on this day, we once again have found ourselves in a time of reflection … remembering those we’ve lost too soon, mourning the tragic and heinous ways in which they died and trying to make sense out of actions that make absolutely no sense at all. Thus, as their memories live on, we too must live on … for we now stand on their shoulders and their memories live on through us.

TDOR is also a day of and for healing … healing from the hate, healing from the hurt, healing from the grief, healing from the sense of helplessness. As people of faith and followers of Christ, we add our voices to the voices of those around the world to remember and celebrate the lives of those we’ve lost through the years, including this year. But I want to remind us that TDOR is not only a day where we grieve the loss of our sisters and brothers. It is not only a day where we celebrate their lives and legacies. TDOR is also the day where we intentionally increase the awareness of and bring further attention to the challenges and dangers that all people of trans experiences, as well as gender non-conforming people are up against and do our part by taking up the mantel passed on to us to be the “wounded healers” those in our communities, cities, states and countries need us to be … today. This is part of the social justice work we are called to do as members of the Body of Christ. As the Prophet reminded us centuries ago in Micah 6:8, “[God] has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”

I also believe, in addition to being a day of reflection and a day of and for healing, the International Transgender Day of Remembrance is a day of hope … a day of hope for a future where all of humanity will be celebrated and treated equally. As the Body of Christ, we affirm the value and sacredness of all humanity. We affirm and believe all of us are created in the image of God who “formed [our] inward parts and knit [us] together in our mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13) and, as such, are reflections of the Divine tapestry which is the Dominion of God. We believe because of what God has already done for the world through Jesus the Christ, each and every one of us has a God-given assignment to live fully and authentically as the person God intended him or her to be when God breathed life into our bodies. To celebrate “the you God knew” before you knew you is incredibly courageous, though it comes with many challenges and dangers. But as a people of hope, we must dare to believe as long as we strive to be all God created us to be, as long as we dedicate ourselves to live lives of unconditional love, as long as we commit ourselves to “not be silent anymore” about who we are or Whose we are, that in the end, the peaceable kingdom can actually be a reality and not just a dream. The following link is to a story that was recently published in The Huffington Post: www.huffingtonpost.com.

It is a beautiful story of a journey … it is a story of a woman of trans experience and her journey back home … to healing and to hope and her reflections along the way. I share it with you, not just because it blessed me, not just because is made my soul smile, but because it serves as a reminder to me of why I am a person of hope. This story is a reminder we truly can begin to build a better world today. My prayer is you will not only be inspired by her story, but you will likewise be inspired to live in the fullness of your truth each and every day … remembering God loves you as though you are the only person in the universe to love.

We all go through things in life that no matter how big or small can have us feeling there is no solution, no resolution, no way out. Some of us may have felt God was nowhere to be found. Some of us may feel that way right now. I want to share with you a part of my journey in which I have felt that way and what has transpired as a result.

One year ago, I was spiritually, emotionally, and physically bankrupt. I had spent most of my life being bullied, ridiculed, and ashamed. I was ashamed of being a lesbian, I was ashamed of being gender queer, and I was ashamed of having been so undesirable that for the first two years of my life no family wanted me. I grew up believing there was something fundamentally wrong with me. That pain led me to seek self-defeating purposes and substance abuse. I figured if everyone was going to abandon me and there was something wrong with me, why fight it? Why not accept that as my lot in life that I was a reject who was going to spend the rest of my days numbed by drugs until the drugs ultimately took me? Never mind the loving family that claimed me at two years of age and has only ever loved me. Never mind the moments I got off drugs and life was good and positive and I was of service to my community, feeling a sense of purpose; for the drugs kept calling me back because I had not actually dealt with my disease of addiction. I had only abstained from using. Never mind my understanding of God, who after a short while of embracing during my abstinence, I refused to continue to be in a relationship with because even though I knew He was a loving God, to me He wasn’t tangible like drugs were, and someone who consistently failed like me surely wasn’t worthy of His time or attention. There was no hope for me to ever get out of the vicious cycle my addiction had led me to; there was no longer room for me in the world. The date of that realization was Thursday May 26, 2011.

Always right on time, that is when God stepped in and for the first time, was tangible to me. He wasn’t about to let me take my life. He knew me and had plans for me before I was even formed in the womb. When I fell and hit my head (literally because the rope I tried to end it with broke), I looked up and shouted, “OK GOD, YOU WIN!” I knew then I was not going to use anymore, and that I was going to wake up the next morning, May 27th, clean. And I knew I was going to do more than just not use; I was going to address my disease of addiction head on with all the resources I could get my hands on. Most importantly though, for the first time, I felt warmth around me, like God was literally cradling me, loving me for the injured and sick child I was. I was broken and fragmented, and He was the Potter ready to put me back together again and I was now at a place to welcome that. I believe He broke that rope. I believe it was the only way I was able to see He is real, and I believe He knew that.

A dear friend of mine and longtime part of the St. John’s MCC family let me detox on his couch as he packed for Yale Divinity School, and he got me in touch with Pastor Wanda, who I met with after service that Sunday. I was still detoxing, but she listened to every word and counseled me and we prayed and I left with a game plan and an amazing will to not only live, but live for and as an example of that loving God who I can say with unequivocal certainty does exist. Since I got clean one year ago, I have begun to learn who I am, and have come to believe that I am worthy, and God loves me – all of me – just as I am for who I am. And contrary to what I thought in the past, God has always been there and always will be; I cannot count how many times over drugs should have killed me. God kept me alive - for a reason. He knew I had to go where I went to see that. Today, thanks to God’s mercy, grace, and love (which does have tangible proof: the Cross and His Son who died on it for all of us), I have a program of recovery which deals with all the aspects of my disease of addiction, allowing me to live a life based on spiritual principles and not self-seeking motives.

I am honored to share with you that on Sunday, May27, 2012 I have one year clean. I’m living proof of His unconditional love and unfiltered presence. And today I have great care in doing my part to make sure others, including the generations to come, know God is real and He loves us always no matter what.

So if you are thinking life is hard, or that you won’t see the light at the end of whatever is troubling you: let my story I am sharing with you serve as a reminder to you to not give up; don’t leave before the miracle because God is real, God is good, and God is always right on time, and that miracle will come!

by Laura G., Member, St. John’s MCC

Just after the sermon on Christmas Day, Jim Kincaide offered this devotion to help us remember….

“‘Twas the Day of Christmas” by Jim Kincaide

‘Twas the day of Christmas, when all through the church,

everyone was a buzz, because of Christ’s birth.

Although all were thinking of the lunch after service,

instead of thinking of Who they should be serving.

The decorations were all hung with such care,

in hopes the Christ presence would soon be there.

Mammas dresses in finery, kids at their best and dads in suits.

Everyone had settled in for a service - hopefully a beaut.

When out of the service, there arose such a pastor,

who praised our Lord with a word from the Master.

He preached the words that God had given,

with hope that hearts were open to hear them.

Because of your generosity in this time of giving,

those who are present (or not), can be helps through our living.

So please give back to God, so that our ministries can bless,

all who come trough here at God’s request.

The reason for the season is Jesus Christ, our Savior,

a time of giving should be in all our behaviors.

It is that time of the service that we give back to God,

what God has so generous has given, no facade.

Just as a reminder, an early mortgage payoff is looming,

so be thinking and praying that gifts will be booming.

So let us all be Christ with skin on by living,

out loud in our worship, our work and our giving.

I wanted to share a quick story about someone I met a couple of weeks ago. A woman was sitting on the back row with her daughter and this was the first time they had been to St. John’s. I introduced myself and greeted them warmly, asking them about what brought them to our community of faith that day.

The mother told me that her daughter had felt dissatisfied with churches she had gone to in the past. That they made her feel bad for who she was and especially for who she loved. We only talked briefly as service was starting, but after it was all over, I went to the back and talked to the mother again.

She had tears in her eyes. Tears because she found a place that not only her daughter was accepted and loved for who she was but that she, as a straight woman, felt that same love and acceptance from all of us as well. She said she loved the music, the friendly people, the communion, the preaching, in a nutshell everything!

I hugged her and told her what so many of us entering the doors of St. John’s (including myself) were told... “Welcome home.”

- Richard Hass, Deacon and Co-Lead,
Ministry of Worship and Celebration

(Senior Pastor’s Note: Mike is a member of St. John’s MCC)

A Glorious Ash Wednesday to Us All,

As we ponder the journey of Lent once again, I pray this will be a time of new beginnings for us. A time when we, with God’s help, can rid ourselves of our old certitudes and fixed creeds and become refreshed in the new things God is doing in our midst.

A place to begin is in considering our ministry, personally and collectively. An important part of beginning a walk with The Christ is searching and discerning your abilities and passions and finding ways to make those available to God for use in service to others. It is a powerful way for God to meet us where we are and reinforce the message that we are all of value; we all have purpose; we all are important to God and the world.

As we mature in our faith, there is an often overlooked call to go beyond the safety and comfort of ourselves ... to bridge the gap between where we are and where God wants us and the world to be. I, for one, too often deny God the opportunity to use me because the opportunity placed in front of me is outside of my skill set and comfort zone. When I look to the Bible for wisdom, I find that the largest figures in pointing the world toward God are the ones who, in fear and trembling, simply said “use me.” When I look to the Bible, I am reminded that:

Moses, with difficulty of speech, initially refused the opportunity to shepherd God’s sheep out of bondage.

David, a natural loaner, would have been happy in the fields with the lambs and a song. Even when his destiny was clear, he chose to follow ... not lead. In fact, if you look at his life closely, David was not a great King because of his leadership and direction. His personal choices regularly brought hardship and grief to himself and others. His greatness only came when he stepped away from his own ideas and followed those laid before him through the Law and the Prophets.

Peter was a simple fisherman quick to judge and slow to think.

Paul as Saul was a lover and preserver of the Law. It took an act of God through Christ to make him a follower of the Prophets.

It is nice to know that I am in good company in my refusal to follow God into the wilderness. And I am sure I am not alone in this truth....

Still, is that enough? Is dictating to God what I will and won’t do the relationship I want with God? I am certain it isn’t the relationship that God wants with or for me. Isn’t that what the ministry of Jesus and the cross were all about? Isn’t it about encouraging people to move from a place with God on their terms (Pharisees, Sadducees, Laws, Tradition, Religiosity), to a place where God can be God’s self? Isn’t it about encouraging people to move to a place where a person can receive healing on a Holy Day; a place where the outcast is invited to their place at God’s table; a place where we talk with God and not to God?

As I allow these thoughts to simply flow, I hear the words, “It is time to grow up.” God’s ministry is not about my skills and passions. It is about the needs of others that are right in front of me. God plays back for me my own words: “I will follow; use me; and I am yours Lord.” Then I see all of the times that those words were hollow. Where God went, who God needed me to be and what God asked me to do, was not where I wanted to go, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do. In those times I was still God’s, but the“everything I am and everything I am not,” I kept it for myself.

It has often been said that we should live in our passions. I think that maybe just another way to justify saying “no” to God when God calls us. I keep hearing “it’s not about the ministry you want to do; it’s about the ministry that needs to be done.” But God doesn’t stop there. The Voice goes on to say:

“If you want to be close to Me, come to where I am today and work alongside Me. Don’t worry if you do not know how or if you tried before and failed. Let Me show you and guide you. We can talk and share stories and joke around as you learn while we love and care for others together. When we are done, we can all celebrate together.”

It all starts with a willingness to be lent (an intentional word play by the Word.) If I lend myself to God, God believes the experience will open my heart to “give myself away.” That is what God is calling ALL of us to do. If I keep me for me, the best knowledge, understanding and wisdom I can achieve is finding out whom God made. To become who God wants me to be, Scripture says I must put myself in the potters hands to be molded and fired anew, transfiguring and transforming swords into plowshares. I am challenged to loan myself in total to God this Lenten season. Will you join me on the journey?

At this point, a word of caution must be shared in this moment. Before you say yes, God’s desire is not to borrow you or I, for the Law says a borrower must return what is borrowed. God’s true desire is for us to give ourselves completely over to God, so God can fashion us in to something new. I am not there, but I will try being lent. If you are there, I encourage you to stop asking for yourself back. Just listen to The Voice.

A first aside: The Voice reminds me that we were all made perfect, jewels beyond value. God’s desire to change us is not about fixing, destroying or altering that which God made to begin with. Rather, it is to clear off the dirt, scratches, dents and chips the world has caused so we can again shine brightly reflecting the Light and Life that is God.

A second aside: The Voice tells me it really is not giving our/myself away. A very hefty price was paid for me and everyone else on that cross. We have been purchased and the debt has been paid in full.

The question is have we allowed God to redeem what was bought? Are we willing to be fully lent during this season so God can truly use us for God’s plan and purposes in the present and future?

I’m willing to try … I invite you to join me.

- Mike Gauss

Giving Thanks
by Dawn Reiss

Celebrated author and poet Maya Angelou looks back on 80 years of blessings.

“I’m grateful for being here, for being able to think, for being able to see, for being able to taste, for appreciating love – for knowing that it exists in a world so rife with vulgarity, with brutality and violence, and yet love exists. I’m grateful to know that it exists.”

“Would you like some water?” Dr. Maya Angelou asks as she welcomes me into her New York City home. “Or the world’s greatest apple juice?”

Though time has slowed Angelou, who turned 80 in April, her kind eyes and robust laugh reflect a woman much younger in spirit, and her words reveal an intellect and a wit sharper than ever.

Click here to read the rest of this article at American Way Magazine....

The Call to Worship and Prayer by the Rev. B. Y. Boone, Senior Pastor of St. John’s MCC on Transgender Day of Remembrance • Sunday, November 21, 2010.

“Thanks be to God for this day, where we can come together along with the global church to observe Transgender Remembrance Day! Today, God joins us in our grief as we remember our siblings [in Christ] lost at the hands of hatred, evil and violence because of their gender identity and expression. Yet, it will be the church, engaged and united in Spirit-breathed prayer, that will unlock the window of the powerful, healing effects of God’s loving will for us.

“Today, we restore anew our commitment to protect, support and remember our transgender [and genderqueer] siblings [in Christ] and indeed all of God’s children who are marginalized and alienated.

“As God bears witness to our restoration, let our worship this day honor our memories, reignite our resolve and reflect our renewal!”

“In that same spirit, Beloved, let us pray.

“Loving Creator God, Maker of us all, You who knows us and loves us, be with us now as we come together to be your community, as we come to worship you, as we come together to remember. Bring us the hope we need and the wholeness that we long for to live lives that are full of Your unconditional and limitless love, lives that are all that You desire us to be. Help us to be the wonderful diverse people that we are: of all sexual orientations, of all gender and gender identities, of all ages and races, for it is You who made us and not we ourselves. We ask that Your presence will be manifest in our words and actions, not just this day, but every day of our lives. This we ask in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.”

– adapted from worship resources provided by MCC Transgender Ministries